Saturday, 24 January 2009

An interesting article again

Haha... seems i'm writing more articles than any other things.

Recently, I read an article on Mind Your Body. The title is "Love's No Fairy Tale". I find that this title fully describes what should be on everyone's mind when it comes to love. There is more to love than fairy-tale romance and happily-ever-after. It is the basics that everyone should be aware of. Underlying the romance, sweetness, blissful feeling, etc of a relationship is the nitty-gritty stuff and outlook of a person that actually make or break a relationship.

The author has placed a few words which I feel are some of the nitty-gritty stuff.
1) In-laws
2) Family planning
3) Babies
4) Combined CPF
5) Parenthood
6) Home Loan
7) Job Security/Advancement
8) Bills
9) Quality Time
10) Mid-life crisis
11) Health care
12) Retirement plan
13) Disability insurance
14) Menopause
15) Marriage counselling

And the list goes on. These items are very real. They are all part and parcel of life. When a couple comes together, such things will surface more prominently. Unable to handle them can lead to lots of friction and fairy-tale will become nightmare for some.

One friend told me that her friend was arguing with his girlfriend about almost everything. It is not the big issues that they are quarrelling but more of nitty-gritty stuffs. These will be affected by a person's character, upbringing, values, etc. Arguing would not solve the problem and it will only cause cracks to be deeper. It is always good to understand the root of everything so that we are in a better position to move forward.

The author also mentioned a german philosopher Arther Schopenhauer who describes love is an overwhelming biological urge dedicated to one purpose and one purpose only - procreation. The feeling of being together, loving each other and blissfully together are nature's way of tricking us into having babies. This concept doesn't really stand in this current era is because many couples prefer to have only the two of them and not bring in another living being in their world. Coming to think of that, when a woman loves the man of her life, she'll willing bear the pain of going through labour to give birth to a child. Thinking further, nurturing a child requires much effort too. We should acknowledge and applaud the self-sacrificing of woman.

We should not be blinded by all the colours and fun. We should also try handle life realistically and examine the underlying issues while enjoying the fairy-tale.

Thursday, 22 January 2009

A Touching Article - Living with my mentally ill wife

A few days back, I read an article about this guy who single-handedly took care of his wife who suffers from schizophrenia.

It is a mental disorder "characterized by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality. It most commonly manifests as auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking with significant social or occupational dysfunction" (wikipedia). Onset of symptoms typically occurs in young adulthood. Reading about what this illness brings about sets my jitters down my spine.

This guy has loved his wife even if she suffers from such an illness. He describes taking care of a mentally ill person is harder than taking care of e.g. a cancer patient. As it is difficult to predict when the illness will surface. And when it surfaces, both wits and physical strength will be required to bring her to seek medical assistance.

I admired him from the bottom of my heart. Reason being he knows she had this illness and he still marries her. Such an act of love is truly pure and above self. He really wants to take care of her and make her happy. This is the most basic and fundamental aspect of a couple. But such basics is the hardest to achieve. And what he said really struck my heart "I made a vow to myself once. I told myself that the woman I marry, whoever she is, I will love forever." I believe such words are what all women would want to hear from their husbands and that it is being acted out. When I read these words, I tear as his words really touched my heart deeply. I too hope that one day when I meet this lady, I will be able to do what he had done and is still doing.