Saturday, 18 April 2009

14 tips to quit nagging

I come across this article on yahoo website and find it very interesting as it. Actually, I do find myself quite naggy thus this article should come in handy. Yeah... a guy to be naggy... I've taken after my mum lah... haha... Here goes the article.

In marriage, or any partnership, chores are a huge source of conflict. How do you get your sweetheart to hold up his or her end, without nagging?

One of my best friends from college has a very radical solution: she and her husband don’t assign. That’s right. They never say, “Get me a diaper,” “The trash needs to go out,” etc. This only works because neither one of them is a slacker, but still — what a tactic! And they have three children!

This is something to strive for. But even if we can’t reach that point, most of us could cut back on the nagging. Here are some strategies that have worked for me:

1. It’s annoying to hear a hectoring voice, so suggest tasks without words. When my husband needs a prescription filled, he puts his empty medicine bottle on the bathroom counter. Then I know to get it re-filled.

2. If you need to voice a reminder, limit yourself to one word. Instead of barking out, “Now remember, I’ve told you a dozen times, stop off at the grocery store, we need milk, if you forget, you’re going right back out!” Instead, call out, “Grocery store!” or “Milk!”

3. Don’t insist that a task be done on your schedule. “You’ve got to trim those hedges today!” Says who? Try, “When are you planning to trim the hedges?” If possible, show why something needs to be done by a certain time. “Will you be able to trim the hedges before our party next week?”

4. Remind your partner that it’s better to decline a task than to break a promise. My husband told me that he’d emailed some friends to tell them we had to miss their dinner party to go to a family dinner—but he hadn’t. Then I had to cancel at the last minute. Now I tell him, “You don’t have to do it. But tell me, so I can it.”

5. Have clear assignments. I always call repairmen; he always empties the Diaper Genie.

6. Every once in a while, do your sweetheart’s task, for a treat. This kind of pitching-in wins enormous goodwill.

7. Assign chores based on personal priorities. I hate a messy bedroom more than my husband, but he hates a messy kitchen more than I. So I do more tidying in the bedroom, and he does more in the kitchen.

8. Do it yourself. I used to be annoyed because we never had cash in the house. Then I realized: why did I get to assign that job? Now I do it, and we always have cash, and I’m not annoyed.

9. Settle for a partial victory. Maybe your partner won’t put dishes in the dishwasher, but getting them from the family room into the sink is a big improvement.

10. Re-frame: decide that you don't mind doing a chore — like putting clothes in the hamper or hanging up wet towels. Surprisingly, this is easier than you’d think.

11. Don’t push for the impossible. My husband knows that there’s no way I’ll do anything relating to our car, so he doesn’t even ask.

12. No carping from the sidelines. If your partner got the kids dressed, don’t mock the outfits. If you want something done your way, do it yourself.

13. Think about how money might be able to buy some cheap happiness. Could you find a teenager to mow the lawn? Could you hire a weekly cleaning service? Could you buy prepared foods? Eliminating conflict in a relationship is a high happiness priority, so this is a place to spend money if it can help.

14. Remember that messy areas tend to stay messy, and tidy areas tend to stay tidy. If you want your partner to be neat, be neat yourself!

I admit that these tips are practically useless, however, in a situation where one person is absolutely oblivious for the need for chores to be done. I have it easy, because if anything, my husband is more chore-oriented than I am. If a person simply does not care, it’s practically impossible to get him or her to participate.

*Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.

Never judge a book by its cover

How apt is this phrase!!!
It had shown in the life of Miss Susan Boyle. I was on facebook and many have become a fan of her and went to take a look at what is so great despite her looks. Loaded the youtube webpage. At first, I must say I have stereotyped and have also been cynical about her performance when she came on stage.
Her voice really impressed me as I watch on. She's very cute. After her performance, she just walked away without hearing the judges' comments. I believe she feels that she might not be able to get good comments from the judges. The wonderful comments must only have settled in after she went backstage as she was in tears.
I must really say "Never judge a book by its cover".

Thursday, 16 April 2009

On the bus trip home

As I was on my way home this evening, I was quite tired and was thinking about the next month. It will soon be the month of May. What is so important about this month? It is the month where we celebrate Mother's Day. This year will be 10th May.

During this day, my whole family will be celebrating this day with my grandmother. At the thought of her, my eyes are blurred and filled with tears. She will not be around to celebrate this day with us. Looking out the window and covering my face with one hand, it is embarassing to be seen tearing. I closed my eyes as if to sleep to try to control my emotions and tears. As the bus ride continues, my emotions subsided and wipe my eyes with my hands.

Staring ahead of me, this year will not be the same and I will try to make a difference this year.

Performance Appraisal

Oh... today on 16 April 2009, I had my 1st performance appraisal since I entered the working world. The pre-appraisal was quite tiring for me. We had to gather all the information about myself like filling up portions of the appraisal form, any compliments from tenants, the budget report to be updated, any creative ideas that I had come up with, etc. My 1st appraisal got to prepare so many things... Didn't know had to prepare so many things until I called my admin colleague and was franatically searching for these things almost the whole afternoon yesterday.

Just before the appraisal, I was a little nervous as its my 1st appraisal. I'm uncertain what is the superior's impression about me. During the appraisal, I find that my superior is a very nice person. He's not someone whose biase and is a easy-going person. I'm lucky to have him as my superior. He really takes care of staff that are with him. I hope to be able to learn more from him.

Sunday, 12 April 2009

Online Shopping

I'm not into online shopping. But I find that this website which was set up by my friend should be given a little advertisement.

Why do I want to mention it on my blog here? The reason is simple because the things that was put up for sale online is handmade and very cute. Oops... seems like my masculinity is at stake here. Haha... Well, it doesn't matter because it is really cute. Me being a guy finds it cute and I believe many ladies will like it. Guys and gals either buying for friends or lover, it will be an appropriate gift. There are various accessories like hair clips, bracelets, rings, etc. Nothing beats putting some pictures for people to see how nice is the gifts.

Crystal Angel

Scarf Pin

Teddy Bear

Turtle Cellphone Accessory

There are lots more than just these 4 gifts. To find out more, please do visit this website at Personally, I like the teddy bear. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you are able to get one teddy bear from the shelves or make one teddy bear yourself and hang any one of the beautiful accessory from simplyshines as a gift. Yes... such a gift will definitely be very sweet. But isn't it worthwhile to give it to the person you love. The person will be really touched.