Yesterday, I nearly lost someone whom I love dearly. It is the worst day I felt since I was born. I didn't feel so bad even when I failed my English 'O' levels and couldn't get into JC. The feeling is just so heart-wrenching.
My grandmother had a heart attack. I went to the hospital. I actually looked daze and my mum told me that I didn't even smile and looked so serious. Actually, I was very worried. The doctors are trying to help her when I got to the hospital. I am really scared that I will never see my grandmother again. After the doctors and nurses allowed us to go in 2 at a time to visit my grandmother, I just didn't know what to say to her but only touched her hand and said I'm here to visit her. We were told that her condition was still unstable and her blood pressure was very low.
My aunts and my mum were all taking it easy but I don't really think it is the case. Though all of us are prepared that my grandmother will go one of these days but when it really comes to parting, it is definitely a different story. For me it is definitely the case.
As my brother needs to take his exam, my family and I went home. On the way home to rest, I realised my muscles were tight after I did some deep breathing. I told myself that I have to be strong and pray for her to get well soon. We thought this day will end with no further occurrence but just after 9pm, I received a call from my aunt that the doctor informed her that my grandmother went into cardiac arrest and told us to come over to the hospital as this might be the last time to see my grandmother. We told my brother to stay at home to study and that grandmother will understand. He was still hesitating whether to go and just then broke down and wanted to take the exam 6 months later. When I saw him broke down, I too cried. I had told myself to be strong but it seems my front had crumbled. I got back my composure and we decided that my brother should go. Exams can be retaken but grandmother's gone is forever gone.
I was uptight again. Worrying whether we will be losing her. I was praying for my grandmother to be strong throughout the way. I had to again tell myself to be strong as there will be lots of things to do and to give support. We were relieved when we were told that my grandmother's heart is pumping again. My uncles and aunts said that it was no use waiting here. Better get some rest. Slowly, each of us left with our family home to get some rest. One of my uncle and aunt stayed back.
It was a long sleepless night. I was tossing and turning all the time and caught only a couple of hours rest and I got up early in the morning as I couldn't get to sleep anymore.
But I am glad that my grandmother's blood pressure has increased to somewhat normal condition and her heart is not as weak as it was yesterday. I'm glad that she's getting better and she will get better.