Quote of the Day - Woman

When I read this article which was sent by one of my colleague, I had a good laugh and at the same time it made me remember that life's a cycle.

Scratching your head?? We should treat ladies better otherwise we'll be in for trouble. Is it really true that we'll be in trouble? There is always two sides to a coin and always two way traffic. This depends on how a guy treats the lady and how he is being treated. This is something that actually not only guys should take note and be aware of but ladies too. Because it is actually not about guys or ladies but about an individual. You will be treated well if you treat others well and if you will be treated with crap if you treat others crap.

So start treating others well so that you will be treated well too.

A Great Experience Today - Volunteering

It has been quite some years since I participated in volunteering works. The last time I volunteered was during my secondary school days. Had participated in a few activities which my uniformed group organized. I remembered going to an old folks' home to help to clean up the home and flag raising for NKF. Back then, the feeling of helping wasn't so strong. I was treating it as an activity which I will be going through. Though I had carried out the activities with diligence, I was just carrying out in a routine manner.

As I carried out my work today, its quite a different feeling. Even though it is just a little gesture to hang the meal on the grille of their door or greeting them when they come out to take the meal, I really felt for these people. A simple thank you really makes my day and I hope that they will be able to live well.

My Carelessness

It is really a cause to be laughed at. I was really very careless today.

Had my schedule planned after I knocked off today. First make a trip to supermarket to purchase a packet of jelly powder, put my stuff down and go for a jog in the evening before having dinner.

Thought making agar-agar was easy. So I thought there is only a need to buy a packet of jelly powder will be enough for me to try out making agar-agar. Went about doing my stuff and having dinner. As I was doing the preparation to make agar-agar, I flipped back and saw the ingredients required. Never did I think that there's a recipe and an ingredients list. I had to get caster sugar and citric acid too with the packet of jelly powder that I bought. I asked my brother whether it is possible to do without the citric acid. To my horror, if I do not have the citric acid, the jelly powder would not solidify. I was like... Alamak!!! Why like that!!! Haiz... too bad. I could not try out agar-agar making tonight. My brother told me that there is a premix packet and I remember seeing it on the shelf. I thought that it was such a big packet and I could not finish it tonight so no point buying it.

The problem is I did not read the back of the package and bought the jelly powder only. If only I was not so careless and had taken a look at the back and not assume that agar-agar is easy to make. It is my plain carelessness which has made me a clown. Well, everyone learns from mistakes and bearing it in mind, I will not commit the same again next time.

In hard times, families must draw closer

"The family. It's the most important life raft in times of crisis."

Either immediate or extended, the family is the most fundamental in life. Without a family, there will always be this missing piece in an individual's life. Family is a place where one goes through the life's trial together. It should be the top priority be it in good or bad times.

A recent survey by OCBC found that the top 3 dreams/goals this year is firstly, family and children, secondly settling down/starting a family and thirdly, house and home. This is in stark contrast to last year where the top 3 dreams are to see the world, self-improvement and making money. This actually shows that in bad times, people will think of family but in good times, there is a more individualistic mentality which is personal wants. A thought came to my mind. When things get stormy outside, humans will think of family and home but when its sunny, the family will be left behind. It seems more like an ingrate act to me. Family isn't a place to think of and come back when we meet with difficulty outside. We should share both good and bad times together.

Family is actually a fundamental nuclei in an individual's life. Quoting what PM Lee's said, "Family will always be core to our human instincts and our social fabric". Without it, there will be no self to talk about. Family is a place where each of us learn and grow. It is a place where we build our human instincts.

We should inculcate family values and the importance of family and family values to young children. It is important to start nurturing them since young to allow them to see the importance of a family.

An interesting article again

Haha... seems i'm writing more articles than any other things.

Recently, I read an article on Mind Your Body. The title is "Love's No Fairy Tale". I find that this title fully describes what should be on everyone's mind when it comes to love. There is more to love than fairy-tale romance and happily-ever-after. It is the basics that everyone should be aware of. Underlying the romance, sweetness, blissful feeling, etc of a relationship is the nitty-gritty stuff and outlook of a person that actually make or break a relationship.

The author has placed a few words which I feel are some of the nitty-gritty stuff.
1) In-laws
2) Family planning
3) Babies
4) Combined CPF
5) Parenthood
6) Home Loan
7) Job Security/Advancement
8) Bills
9) Quality Time
10) Mid-life crisis
11) Health care
12) Retirement plan
13) Disability insurance
14) Menopause
15) Marriage counselling

And the list goes on. These items are very real. They are all part and parcel of life. When a couple comes together, such things will surface more prominently. Unable to handle them can lead to lots of friction and fairy-tale will become nightmare for some.

One friend told me that her friend was arguing with his girlfriend about almost everything. It is not the big issues that they are quarrelling but more of nitty-gritty stuffs. These will be affected by a person's character, upbringing, values, etc. Arguing would not solve the problem and it will only cause cracks to be deeper. It is always good to understand the root of everything so that we are in a better position to move forward.

The author also mentioned a german philosopher Arther Schopenhauer who describes love is an overwhelming biological urge dedicated to one purpose and one purpose only - procreation. The feeling of being together, loving each other and blissfully together are nature's way of tricking us into having babies. This concept doesn't really stand in this current era is because many couples prefer to have only the two of them and not bring in another living being in their world. Coming to think of that, when a woman loves the man of her life, she'll willing bear the pain of going through labour to give birth to a child. Thinking further, nurturing a child requires much effort too. We should acknowledge and applaud the self-sacrificing of woman.

We should not be blinded by all the colours and fun. We should also try handle life realistically and examine the underlying issues while enjoying the fairy-tale.

A Touching Article - Living with my mentally ill wife

A few days back, I read an article about this guy who single-handedly took care of his wife who suffers from schizophrenia.

It is a mental disorder "characterized by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality. It most commonly manifests as auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking with significant social or occupational dysfunction" (wikipedia). Onset of symptoms typically occurs in young adulthood. Reading about what this illness brings about sets my jitters down my spine.

This guy has loved his wife even if she suffers from such an illness. He describes taking care of a mentally ill person is harder than taking care of e.g. a cancer patient. As it is difficult to predict when the illness will surface. And when it surfaces, both wits and physical strength will be required to bring her to seek medical assistance.

I admired him from the bottom of my heart. Reason being he knows she had this illness and he still marries her. Such an act of love is truly pure and above self. He really wants to take care of her and make her happy. This is the most basic and fundamental aspect of a couple. But such basics is the hardest to achieve. And what he said really struck my heart "I made a vow to myself once. I told myself that the woman I marry, whoever she is, I will love forever." I believe such words are what all women would want to hear from their husbands and that it is being acted out. When I read these words, I tear as his words really touched my heart deeply. I too hope that one day when I meet this lady, I will be able to do what he had done and is still doing.

Interesting Analogy from Workshop - Maximising Performance

Yesterday, I attended a corporate workshop on "Maximising Performance". The faciliator started the workshop with identifying the key responsibilities of a corporate. She uses Father as an anology. She asked what is the responsibilities of a father and we listed a few like: -
1. Provide for the family
2. Protect the family
3. Running household errants
4. Nurturing children
5. Role model
6. Entertainer
7. Discipline master
8. Setting direction for the family
9. Etc...

A corporate is just like a father who has to set a key responsibilities. This set of responsibilities will be the same for every corporate aka father in this explanation. To be able to fulfill all will show that the father is a perfect father. Is there really a perfect father? I doubt so because we are all humans and we make mistakes. We will never be able to fulfill every item on the list. What we can do is select a few aspects that is most important i.e. prioritize to be given full attention to carry it out.

As I looked at the list, I suddenly remember a friend who sent me this list about being a boyfriend that every girl wants.

The Boyfriend Every Girl Wants

- When you break her heart - [ the pain NEVER really goes away ]
- When she misses you - [ she's hurting inside ]
- When she says its over - [ she STILL wants you to be hers ]
- When she walks away from you mad - [ Follow her]
- When she stare's at your mouth - [ Kiss her ]
- When she pushes you or hit's you - [ Grab her and don’t let go ]
- When she starts cursing at you - [ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]
- When she ignores you - [ Give her your attention]
- When she pulls away - [ Pull her back ]
- When you see her at her worst - [ Tell her she's beautiful ]
- When you see her start crying - [Just hold her and don’t say a word ]
- When you see her walking - [ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]
- When she's scared - [ Protect her ]
- When she lays her head on your shoulder - [ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]
- When she steals your favorite hat - [ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]
- When she teases you - [ Tease her back and make her laugh ]
- When she doesn’t answer for a long time - [ reassure her that everything is okay ]
- When she looks at you with doubt - [ Back yourself up with the TRUTH]
- When she says that she likes you - [ she really does more than you could understand ]
- When she grabs at your hands - [ Hold hers and play with her fingers ]
- When she bumps into you - [ bump into her back and make her laugh ]
- When she tells you a secret - [ keep it safe and untold ]
- When she looks at you in your eyes - [ don’t look away until she does ]
- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything
- DON'T let her have the last word
- DON'T call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is soo much better
- Say you love her more than she could ever love you
- Argue that she is the best girl ever
- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
- When she says she's OK don’t believe it, talk with her
- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
- Treat her like she's all that matters to you
- Tease her and let her tease you back
- Stay up all night with her when she's sick
- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
- Give her the world
- Let her wear your clothes
- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
- Let her know she's important
- Kiss her in the pouring rain
- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking today baby?"

This list is extremely long. Taking the explanation from the faciliator, such a boyfriend will be a perfect guy and is impossible to find as we are all humans. What we can do will be to select a few and try to carry out as best as possible.

Actually, the items on the list are all to make the lady happy. The more a guy fulfills the items on the list, the happier the lady will be. From this list, there will be certain items that a lady will place more emphasis so if the guy does more of these "certain items", the lady will be tremendously happy. The more weight that the lady has in the guy's heart, the more the guy will try to make her happy. Well, I don't think it will be a one-way traffic. In order for the guy to do more, the lady too have to fulfill items on a list. Which leads us to the question of where is the list on "The girlfriend that a guy wants"? I hope someone will come up with one.