A Touching Story (A couple's one month notice before divorce)

I read this article on flowerpod. I find it very touching and decided to put it on my blog. From this story, it also daunt on me that not only must we notice the small details of your partner's, we must also take notice of these little details of our family members too. It is those small details that we see in our loved ones that we must appreciate our loved ones.

"When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her knowwhat I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore, I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spentten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry forher wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what Ihad said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actuallya kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing somethingat the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fellasleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly andthought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has toface the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention wasexplicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, weboth appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummyin his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to theoffice.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on mychest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that Ihadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised shewas not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense ofintimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday work-out made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a fewdresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become anessential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my necks oftly and naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I Held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school.I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lackedintimacy.I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking thedoor. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walkedupstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property , the money inthe bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage.- Author unknown - "

A tough day and a sleepless night

Yesterday, I nearly lost someone whom I love dearly. It is the worst day I felt since I was born. I didn't feel so bad even when I failed my English 'O' levels and couldn't get into JC. The feeling is just so heart-wrenching.

My grandmother had a heart attack. I went to the hospital. I actually looked daze and my mum told me that I didn't even smile and looked so serious. Actually, I was very worried. The doctors are trying to help her when I got to the hospital. I am really scared that I will never see my grandmother again. After the doctors and nurses allowed us to go in 2 at a time to visit my grandmother, I just didn't know what to say to her but only touched her hand and said I'm here to visit her. We were told that her condition was still unstable and her blood pressure was very low.

My aunts and my mum were all taking it easy but I don't really think it is the case. Though all of us are prepared that my grandmother will go one of these days but when it really comes to parting, it is definitely a different story. For me it is definitely the case.

As my brother needs to take his exam, my family and I went home. On the way home to rest, I realised my muscles were tight after I did some deep breathing. I told myself that I have to be strong and pray for her to get well soon. We thought this day will end with no further occurrence but just after 9pm, I received a call from my aunt that the doctor informed her that my grandmother went into cardiac arrest and told us to come over to the hospital as this might be the last time to see my grandmother. We told my brother to stay at home to study and that grandmother will understand. He was still hesitating whether to go and just then broke down and wanted to take the exam 6 months later. When I saw him broke down, I too cried. I had told myself to be strong but it seems my front had crumbled. I got back my composure and we decided that my brother should go. Exams can be retaken but grandmother's gone is forever gone.

I was uptight again. Worrying whether we will be losing her. I was praying for my grandmother to be strong throughout the way. I had to again tell myself to be strong as there will be lots of things to do and to give support. We were relieved when we were told that my grandmother's heart is pumping again. My uncles and aunts said that it was no use waiting here. Better get some rest. Slowly, each of us left with our family home to get some rest. One of my uncle and aunt stayed back.

It was a long sleepless night. I was tossing and turning all the time and caught only a couple of hours rest and I got up early in the morning as I couldn't get to sleep anymore.

But I am glad that my grandmother's blood pressure has increased to somewhat normal condition and her heart is not as weak as it was yesterday. I'm glad that she's getting better and she will get better.

A Married Person's family

I had some time today and decided to carry out a review on my income and budget. Haha... the first thing that comes to your mind will be how much am I earning. Well, its a secret.



It suddenly struck me that a married person has to take care of 2 families. Haha... did I just mention having an extra-marital affair. Nope its not this way. It is actually the person's immediate family. One's to parents and the other to wife and kids.



I realise that a person who is married not only takes

Rainbow

Rainbow ah.... every time I saw it, I will take a picture of it. Beautiful isn't it. I have been unable to take a full rainbow and thus have taken only a segment of it. It is still beautiful.

The 1st one was taken a couple of years back when I was walking towards Bugis MRT. The rainbow has more distinct colours than the one below. The 2nd one I took it as I was walking across the overhead bridge above KPE.

I prefer the 2nd one. It give me a 患得患失 feeling and the purple colour adds to the feeling too.

What do you think? Which is nicer?

On Government Service and the days before

Tomorrow, I will be going for my high key ICT which for me is the 5th while some of my platoon mates will be their 6th. A couple of years back, I was not called back to participate in one of the high key ICT which they had quite a hard time then. Whew!!! I should say hehe... Bad hor...

Well, going on government service is like a love-hate relationship. Why? Its pros will be I'm "on leave" and need not work, can get some rest (saw my eye bags a couple of days back... wow... didn't realise that they are bulging out) and meet up with my platoon mates. Its cons will be I got to tie up all loose ends both at work and at home before I go off. This alone is like condensing all the things I had to do over the next week into the last couple of days. It can be stressful at times.

Despite being stressful, I do have my lucky times. I attended the annual D&D on Friday, I got 3rd prize at the lucky draw. I believe this is the luckiest time out of my eh.... 29yrs on earth... haha... The prize is $500 Takashimaya vouchers and the best thing is there is no expiry date. Haha... given my track record of forgetting to use my previous vouchers, this is really a good thing. At least, I can use it anytime I want with no time limit. Well, there's a reason why I always forget to use my vouchers. I don't go shopping frequently or have many things to buy as I don't see the need to use the vouchers just for the sake of using them. I must say, I'm greedy... I do hope to win something bigger and more expensive in lucky draws hehe....

After a long Saturday rushing to tie up loose ends at work, Sunday's my time to fulfill my responsibility to my family... Hehe... one of which is my own new creation - chicken chop sphagetti... Over the past 2 times, I put the meat into the sauce. I was thinking why not take the meat out and cook a separate dish to add some colour to the normal yellow and red outlook.

Ok... I must say the chicken chop is a small piece... Hey, I'm not stingy ok... but I just couldn't find a big piece of meat in the fridge and the biggest one piece meat is from a chicken drumstick. So I go no choice. Hehe... though its a normal chop but adding a little chilli sauce to marinate the meat has brought some spiciness to the tomato sauce. Hmm... what should I put in next.... Maybe I should try seafood ingredients... hehe... the taste I can only tell after I've done it...

Appetizing?? Hehe...

Chastity Belt Ring

I read an article on the newspaper that mentioned the Taiwanese star Van Ness Wu has designed a new jewellery line called 3V07 (invert it to be LOVE) and one of its product is the ring designed to be worn on 2 fingers is called the Chastity Belt. This ring signifies that he had made a decision to remain celibate.

This ring has made to think of chastity belt. It is a locking device designed to prevent sexual intercourse and possibly masturbation. Besides this, it may also protect the wearer from rape or temptation. This devise can be used for both males and females. In the past, such chastity belts are the physical items worn on the genital to prevent or stop sexual intercourse. Now it has become an item that reminds one to celibate. The difference here is one is a physical and the other is mental.

The purpose of the ring targets a person's mental rather than the physical control. It seem that as we progress, more and more are created to control mentally instead. I believe we now recognise that the root cause of things actually come from the brain. I have a question.

Which is more effective? The physical control or the mental one. A mental one depends on the person him/herself. Having weak control and this method will be deemed a failure. The physical control does not have this problem. Be it strong or weak, the purpose will still be achieved unless physical force is used to pry off the belt. Its not that I find the ring useless but it is just that the control of mind is really very subjective and can be "mainpulated" by the heart, conscience, religion, teachings, etc to either abstain from or succumb to temptation. A very strong-will is a prerequisite to take up this mental route.

I believe when Van Ness has chosen this, he will have prepared himself to try not to succumb to temptation. He is taking a first step towards his goal. Though it'll be tough but I do hope he'll be able to do it. He should be a role model to be followed. His act is a reminder and strenghten my resolve not to succumb to temptation.

Don't Give Up

A friend sent me this attachment.

"Don't give up.....One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit mylife.I went to the woods to have one last talk with God."God", I asked, "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"His answer surprised me..."Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?""Yes", I replied."When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I t ook very good care ofthem.I gave them light.I gave them water.The fern quickly grew from the earth.Its brilliant green covered the floor.Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on thebamboo. He said."In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.But I would not quit.In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I wouldnot quit." He said."Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Comparedto the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong andgave it what it needed to survive.I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."He asked me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have beenstruggling, you have actually been growing roots"."I would not quit on the bamboo.I will never quit on you.""Don't compare yourself to others."He said."The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.Yet they both make the forest beautiful.""Your time will come", God said to me."You will rise high""How high should I rise?"I asked."How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return."As high as it can?" I questioned."Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."I left the forest and brought back this story.I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.Never, Never, Never Give up."

Besides never giving up, I realised that there are a couple of lessons learnt here.

The first lesson I learnt is that foundation is very important and it takes time. But once the foundation is ready, the sky's the limit. Just like the bamboo who is reaching for the sky while the fern is growing near the ground. Another aspect to note is that building a strong foundation requires lots of patience and effort. A strong base will and can never be built quickly. Understanding the basis of having a strong foundation is the first step to success.

The second lesson is that each being has his/her role to play. Be it at work, at home, with friends or with your partner, there is a role to be played. We just need to do our part to fulfill the purpose of the given role. Be it tough or easy, its a process that all will have to go through. We must look to it as a challenge with every hurdle we meet and we will emerge stronger and better. Looking at the bad side will only make things worse so look at the brighter side and all will succeed.

Don't give up easily so that one can succeed later.