Wednesday, 13 August 2008

Two Families

I read an article in the morning about more cases of men leaving families here to set up another family overseas.

It seems there are more and more cases of men disappearing without any trace. Not that they are being kidnapped or anything but the report states that they are setting up another family overseas and thus abandoning the first family here. The men did a disappearing act by "poof" and they are no longer contactable and traceable. Wives have gone through the police, etc to search for their "missing husbands". But apparently to no avail and have taken the drastic action to hire private investigators to find their husbands.

This "disappearing act" has actually caused distraught to wives and children. I don't think I can comprehend the actions of these men. But it might not be difficult to comprehend why some wives have to resort to check on their husbands and requires counseling (an article in the evening chinese newspaper). This action of irresponsibility alone has lead to numerous problems. One of which is that the child is affected. It is really sad to read such an article. A couple of questions popped out. Is the word "responsibility" no longer in the dictionary? Why is there such a selfish act? Whose to blame for this?

But I think, everything boils down to a person's moral convictions. And such convictions seems eroding away. An analogy just came into my mind. Choosing a life partner is not like choosing a handphone. Every few years, there'll be new, more sophisticated, more slick, more beautiful and better handphone models entering the market and a decision to change a handphone can be at a flick of the fingers. There's a high turnover of handphones. It seems that there is a turnover too for partners. I should say the correct phrase should be "life partners". A decision to marry the other party to be wife or husband is actually a decision that is suppose to be made once in a lifetime. There shouldn't be any "turnover" at all.

The selection of life partner should be taken seriously and effort required to sustain the relationship.


Khian Yong said...

The main reason for such "turnover" or failure marriages is because many marriages should not exist in the 1st place. Although we are in the modern society, the asian thinking is still very "old". We must all get married at mid age around 30plus -40plus especially for guys. If not you will face pressure especially during wedding dinners. Hence many will start to "look" for ideal partners to get married. I guess under such hidden pressure, our mind might trick us that this guy/gal we are dating is our true love.

I feel we should really ask ourselves... what are we seeking in a relationship really... love? Companionship? Or simply to start a family ("to fulfil society responsibility")

A Place to Chow said...

Yupz... that's really true. We can have all the chemistry and attraction during a relationship.

What we should really seek for is a person who has common views, be a best friend, best companion and best partner. But from another angle, is it possible to find such a person. There is no perfect person or situation. A person just have to cherish what we have got and carry on from there.

juphelia said...

Nobody is perfect. A perfect match is just a pipe's dream. It is the commitment that matters. Once you are committed you know this person is who you choose then will just have to remain faithful, notwithstanding others, as there will always be temptations outside. Hence the saying, "Love the person you marry", and not so much of "Marry the person you love".