Such an Embarrassment

When I was reading the newspaper on an article about the sms on giving free outgoing calls if I sent 10 smses out, I felt the urge to dig a hole in the floor and bury my head into it. What an embarrassment!!

Yesterday, when I received this sms from a friend, my thought was as I had so many smses and couldn't find using it every month, why not just send it. I got nothing to lose. But today, after reading the newspaper article, I realised I had everything to lose. The thoughts of what will my friends think of me, why am I so gullible, why didn't I think first before sending, I've actually wasted my time studying to obtain a degree. A moment of greed might have overcome me at that time. Such a stupide thought to think of bidding for a large sum with a small amount. A gambler's mentality and mindset.

Well, this will be lesson for me. To remind myself not to have this mentality and learn to be down-to-earth.

Because of this incident, I remembered another incident that also caused me much embarrassment many years ago when I was still a secondary school student. I heard the bell ring and I answered the door. I opened the door and saw a lady carrying snacks and asked me to buy some from her. I thought it was quite cheap and decided to get a few packs. When my mum got home, I showed her what I had purchased, she scolded me for being gullible. These can be bought at half the price in the market stalls. That time, I was so embarrassed with the mistake I made and I really had this urge to bury my head into a hole.

Writing a post here as a reminder the mistake I've made and the lesson to learn from this incident.

A New Fridge

I have a new fridge at home. After a search over two weeks, I've finally found one that fits my criteria. It fits the space in the kitchen, its capacity is bigger than the current one and price's quite ok. Energy saving is the current trend now. Thus a 3-tick by NEA is quite reassuring that this fridge can help to reduce energy consumption and save some cost.

The main feature of this fridge is that there's this "Plasma Ion" thingy which is said to be able to reduce the smell from meat, fish, etc thus keeping the air in the fridge fresh and nice. Whatever it is, I've fulfilled my basic criteria. The rest of the features are only added incentives for me.

There are many layers at the top freezer and normal fridge space. Now our family can put in a lot more stuff and reduce the frequency of going to the market.

Its really wonderful to be able to have a new thing at home. New things are always the focus for the initial period of time. Its the maintenance, proper look after and taking care of it that the product will last long and serve us well.

A Lesson learnt during a Lousy Week

Had a rather lousy week.

I was given the bad attitude and black face by my carpark attendant. It was really disturbing. I've never seen someone still think he's right when it is obviously his mistake. He still has the nerve to ask me not to transfer him out.

My colleague told me that we should look at another perspective. Besides being overwhelmed by anger to remove him, there's another way out. Its always possible to inform his supervisor about this problem and ask him to handle it or to retain him for the sake of not having so much trouble to train an new guy. But in my opinion, this person has crossed my threshold of tolerance and that with a new person, I can train him/her to the way I want.

What my colleague said is not without sense. This has actually taught me that building ones tolerance level is always good.

Just a Reminder

I took this opportunity to post this on the blog. It is definitely a reminder for me. Hope everyone who reads this blog will receive the message.

Just a little reminder how precious you are to me and how precious today is for you!

A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package:

'This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package.' He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.

'She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on , was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said: 'Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion'.

I still think those words changed my life. Now I read more and clean less. I sit on the porch without worrying about anything. I spend more time with my family, and less at work. I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every day... I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like it. I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to.

The words 'Someday...' and ' One Day...' are fading away from my dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now.. I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends. She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favorite food. It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come. Each day, each hour, each minute, is special. Live for today, for tomorrow is promised to no-one.

If you got this, it's because someone cares for you and because, probably, there's someone you care about. If you're too busy to send this out to other people and you say to yourself that you will send it 'One of these days' , rememberthat 'One day might never come...No matter if you're superstitious or not, spend some time reading it. It holds useful messages for the soul.

A Concealment Act

I have seen this concealment act two times over the past week. This happens when I was walking home from the bus stop I alighted. Both times this act happens after 8pm. This is a deliberate act to conceal from the blue uniform.

I believe many will have some idea that what I'm going to mention is related to the police. They are the ones in blue uniform that many will have to hid or conceal from for doing something illegal. People nowadays are very smart and try to think of different ways to carry out illegal activities.

I was walking one of the lorong. As the street lamps are on the other side of the road, I was not able to see clearly what this person is doing but I could see that he is squatting on the pavement next to the metal drain cover. I continued to walk along the pavement and towards this person. As I got nearly, I saw him hooking up the cover. I thought to myself that there is no road works sign why would this person open up the cover. The next thing I saw a big plastic packet was taken out from the drain.

The bag was not tied up so as I passed by the person, out of curiosity, I took a peek to find out what is in the bag. Guess what!!! It contained different brands of cigarette packets and there are lots of them. Oh... the answer is finally out. This person is getting his stock of illegal cigarette packets out for sale. I must say, criminals nowadays are really very creative and smart. They can even think of such a place to hid their stock. Even if the police come round to these stock will not be found as who will have thought that the cigarettes are hidden in the drain which belongs to the government. The phrase "the most dangerous place is actually the safest place" is definitely true.

With such a concealment act, catching these illegal peddlers will be harder and more people will be smoking cigarettes that are more dangerous to health and many others will be more prone to dangerous second hand smoke. Money is the root cause. It is a vicious cycle.

Labour Day (pre-mother's day celebration)

Its labour day yesterday. A good day to rest and relax after a week of work. It's a good day to have a family get together.

A few days back I was hatching a plan. Next sunday will be mother's day. It'll definitely be very crowded and things will also be expensive so I decided to celebrate it on Labour's day. My aunts and uncles will celebrate early with my grandmother. Also our family have the tradition of celebrating early. So yesterday's really a good day. In the past, my brother and I will chip in to buy presents for my mum or she'll think of something she wants and both of us will share to buy it. This year, I thought of doing it a little different. As the second sunday's mother's day, so I decided to give my mum a treat. To be honest, it is the first time I bring my mum out to shop.

My aunts were watching X-Men Origin: Wolverine so we had chinese vegetarian buffet lunch together at Lingzhi restaurant. This was suggested by my brother as he ate there a couple of months back. But seems the food not as good as the previous. I too find the food normal. But we had a hearty lunch. My aunts and mum were all chatting and laughing away.

Guess who's my mum?

She the one sitting down. From left, my 4th aunt, 2nd aunt and 7th aunt

My aunts accompanied my mum to shop. Haha... its very funny watching my aunts and my mum shopping... typical aunty... haha... oops.. hope my aunts wouldn't be reading any of this otherwise i'll be nagged till my ears drop. My mum's taste really very "traditional". Finding clothes nowadays too colourful, too thin, too expensive, etc. My mum selected one or two pieces but the salesaunty added "oil to fire" and in the end, she bought quite a lot of clothes.. haha... i guess its female instinct that women like to shop and buy nice things. Haha... Luckily I got vouchers. Its really great to see my mum and aunts enjoying themselves.

Oh... my dad bought a couple of shirts too and he mentioned that these are the most expensive shirts he bought in his lifetime... my brother and I was like huh... really ah... wow... my dad's really thrifty...

Its really fun and I think I should organize such an activity more frequently.

14 tips to quit nagging

I come across this article on yahoo website and find it very interesting as it. Actually, I do find myself quite naggy thus this article should come in handy. Yeah... a guy to be naggy... I've taken after my mum lah... haha... Here goes the article.

In marriage, or any partnership, chores are a huge source of conflict. How do you get your sweetheart to hold up his or her end, without nagging?

One of my best friends from college has a very radical solution: she and her husband don’t assign. That’s right. They never say, “Get me a diaper,” “The trash needs to go out,” etc. This only works because neither one of them is a slacker, but still — what a tactic! And they have three children!

This is something to strive for. But even if we can’t reach that point, most of us could cut back on the nagging. Here are some strategies that have worked for me:

1. It’s annoying to hear a hectoring voice, so suggest tasks without words. When my husband needs a prescription filled, he puts his empty medicine bottle on the bathroom counter. Then I know to get it re-filled.

2. If you need to voice a reminder, limit yourself to one word. Instead of barking out, “Now remember, I’ve told you a dozen times, stop off at the grocery store, we need milk, if you forget, you’re going right back out!” Instead, call out, “Grocery store!” or “Milk!”

3. Don’t insist that a task be done on your schedule. “You’ve got to trim those hedges today!” Says who? Try, “When are you planning to trim the hedges?” If possible, show why something needs to be done by a certain time. “Will you be able to trim the hedges before our party next week?”

4. Remind your partner that it’s better to decline a task than to break a promise. My husband told me that he’d emailed some friends to tell them we had to miss their dinner party to go to a family dinner—but he hadn’t. Then I had to cancel at the last minute. Now I tell him, “You don’t have to do it. But tell me, so I can it.”

5. Have clear assignments. I always call repairmen; he always empties the Diaper Genie.

6. Every once in a while, do your sweetheart’s task, for a treat. This kind of pitching-in wins enormous goodwill.

7. Assign chores based on personal priorities. I hate a messy bedroom more than my husband, but he hates a messy kitchen more than I. So I do more tidying in the bedroom, and he does more in the kitchen.

8. Do it yourself. I used to be annoyed because we never had cash in the house. Then I realized: why did I get to assign that job? Now I do it, and we always have cash, and I’m not annoyed.

9. Settle for a partial victory. Maybe your partner won’t put dishes in the dishwasher, but getting them from the family room into the sink is a big improvement.

10. Re-frame: decide that you don't mind doing a chore — like putting clothes in the hamper or hanging up wet towels. Surprisingly, this is easier than you’d think.

11. Don’t push for the impossible. My husband knows that there’s no way I’ll do anything relating to our car, so he doesn’t even ask.

12. No carping from the sidelines. If your partner got the kids dressed, don’t mock the outfits. If you want something done your way, do it yourself.

13. Think about how money might be able to buy some cheap happiness. Could you find a teenager to mow the lawn? Could you hire a weekly cleaning service? Could you buy prepared foods? Eliminating conflict in a relationship is a high happiness priority, so this is a place to spend money if it can help.

14. Remember that messy areas tend to stay messy, and tidy areas tend to stay tidy. If you want your partner to be neat, be neat yourself!

I admit that these tips are practically useless, however, in a situation where one person is absolutely oblivious for the need for chores to be done. I have it easy, because if anything, my husband is more chore-oriented than I am. If a person simply does not care, it’s practically impossible to get him or her to participate.

*Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.